508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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