Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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