I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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