You made me cry and you don't even care
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
