So drunk its hurt
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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