i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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