I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
