I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
