when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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