how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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