What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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