Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
honey bunches of taint.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
