She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
