Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Barsexuality is the new black.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
