Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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