You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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