He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
