Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
