Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
