I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
