He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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