You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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