do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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