He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
