hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
