i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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