well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
