its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
