Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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