you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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