just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
