Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
