She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
