I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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