you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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