I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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