we have pet lesbian snakes
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I will be naked everywhere
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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