VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
