Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I am naked and annoyed.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
