Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
zippers are such a cool invention
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
