And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
