I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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