your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
