We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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