Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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