I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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