you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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