Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
