I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
