Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize