I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's shark week go big or go home
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
