then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
