She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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