i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
